Rose Rising

             The reality is I had a chaotic childhood and “teenhood”, especially during my teen years. It causes me a lot of struggle and a want, no, a need for control. It came out in weird ways. Getting mad at my sister for moving stuff of mine into our bathroom. Picking at my skin. Scream crying over my hair if something felt even a little off. Always move objects in my room around, a lot or just a few inches until it felt “right”.  Throwing up because I was terrified of the day ahead was the only way, in my mind that I could do to control my nerves and there was the bonus of it having the possibility of getting me out of going. I felt pure hatred and nausea towards the sound of metal scratching on one another. Or silverware scratching on a plate. Never doing the dishes no matter how much I got yelled at. Hiding food and dishes in my room so they didn’t know how much I ate or didn’t. I am tired so early in the day bc I keep just going...

    Study more     At the moment I study between classes, mainly when I have an exam coming up. My goal is to study once a day, at least 30 minutes for each class, even if I do not have an exam coming up. I also want to make a better plan of what to study. Studying won't just mean doing homework, I want to make notecards to review and make study guides out of my notes. I want to be a more active learner.  Order less delivery      This is majorly important for me, I get food delivered way too often and I keep making excuses as to why I do it. This year I want to try to not order anything at all. The only time I will allow myself delivery is during finals week. And maybe if I am sick and I am literally out of all other options for food. I also think that when I order delivery I feel horrible about myself and I get mad at myself for eating fast food because of the unhealthy of it. Cook more     I want to cook more for a lot of reasons. The ...

  I have been in therapy for three years. In those three years, and the seventeen without it, I have learned many coping skills, healthy and unhealthy. Here are my top 10 favorite healthy coping skills.      Not on the list but also important and a great tip: use ice during a panic attack!! - it can calm you down. Whether you are putting it in your mouth, putting it on your wrist, or on your neck. All work well- I like to rub it on my face and my wrists to cool me down.           ***  I suffer from anxiety, panic attacks, PTSD, insomnia, and depression. Most of the skills I have learned are to help with the symptoms ( or side effects of medications) from these issues, so just keep that in mind when reading through the list as what works for me may not work for you. I also am not a therapist yet, so I cannot officially diagnose anyone or give any therapeutic advice.